We here at Dogshit Industries wish to point out that in no way do we endorse or condone;
Drinking and driving, in other words (just to be abundantly clear about this) —
Drinking THEN driving,
Drinking WHILE driving.
In fact, we believe that the consumption of alcohol and operating a motor vehicle should be mutually exclusive, unconnected activities. Combining them can cause “Bad Things To Happen” OK, now we’ve gotten all that out of the way, we have some breaking news for y’all.
As if more proof was required that “They’re a bit different in Canada”, this is it.
Robert Wilkinson, the man who became a YouTube viral sensation (9 million views IS viral) for enthusiastically belting out “Bohemian Rhapsody” from the back seat of an RCMP cruiser one year ago, has been convicted of impaired driving and for refusing to take a breathalyser test. He went to court wearing a Viking helmet, sunglasses and NASA T-shirt proclaiming, “I need my space.” We believe it’s safe to say that he really didn’t take the legal process too seriously.
He has been fined $1,400 and is banned from driving for one year. The video footage was originally capture on the cruiser’s built-in camera. His passionate performance was used as evidence during his trial. Mr. Wilkinson had no lawyer and represented himself. Perhaps unsurprisingly, he failed to convince the court that his arrest was a violation of his Charter rights. The best part of the video is its second last line, “Nothing really matters, even the RCMP.”
He stated in an earlier video that he didn’t want to send a bad message to young people about drinking and driving. He also wrote an apology to Queen on his Facebook page and posted an encore performance of “Handle With Care,” by the Travelling Wilburys.
For this musical masterpiece he wore a T-shirt reading, “I don’t get drunk. I get awesome.” Speaking strictly from the perspective of having seen innumerable individuals behaving in infinitely worse, nasty and antisocial ways while intoxicated, we’re somewhat inclined towards cautious agreement with his T-shirt proclamation.
We must applaud the conduct, common sense, and basic sense of humanity of the arresting officer. He might have violated procedure by failing to handcuff Mr. Wilkinson, but it’s also clear that he adopted a light touch in, staying VERY cool and said little, except to encourage Wilkinson to “calm down.” Nor, apparently, did he frogmarch him into the Police Station for booking either. One can only speculate what the LAPD would have done under comparable circumstances. No doubt Mr. Wilkinson would have shown up to face the charges in a wheelchair.
Finally, we take slight issue with the officer, in that he failed to join in the song with “We will not let you go” at the appropriate point in the lyrics. Now that, ladies and gentlemen, would REALLY have been awesome.